Everything you do must do, must be for the right reasons, understand? Talk only can lard…lol. But anyway, I will give my perspective of this issue. Hopefully, at the end of this post we can identify why we do things for the wrong reasons, and how to identify the ‘right’ reasons.
Why do we make mistakes in relationships, academics, careers and etc? Is it because of lack of information? Maybe, but that is more technical in nature, we can always find information, it’s just of matter is it accurate or enough for us to make the decision. But what determines how much you are willing to sacrifice to get the information? Is it passion, determination and willpower? What I’m trying to say is that our emotion is the controlling factor not information. For example, there’s that your boyfriend is dating someone else, depending on HOW you see it or the TRUST you have together would determine your actions. If you do not trust your boyfriend what will you do, and if not it would be different, right? We must be objective in analyzing information and making our decisions. Imagine if you let your emotion cloud your Judgment about the rumor of your relationships, you would be ruining a good relationship. Other emotions would include greed (corruption), lust (infidelity) and arrogance (power hungry)
We have expectations of many things. Remember my previous post about ‘how to say no’? In it, it says we cannot say no because we don’t want to disappoint people or need to live up to people’s expectation of you. A lot of people crave from other people’s approval and recognition, and would let that get in the way of making good decisions. I’m not talking about friends. If you NEED recognition and approval from your ‘friends’, then, they’re not friends. Friends accept you, strong and weak points, and learn and grow together. I’m not asking you to stop, having such relationship. I’m just saying the only person you need approval and recognition, is yourself. Like what a guru said in Mike Myer’s The Love Guru said, “Self love, is more important than being loved by others” or another way of saying, you can’t get others love you until you learn to love and appreciate yourself.
I was talking the need of approval on a personal level, but it also happen on a higher level. It’s not a surprise; after all, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs puts the need of affiliation and status quite high up there. Even as university students we see many clubs and student organization want to big projects. They want to invite VIPs, opening dinner at high class place that does not add value to their members. Even we see management they doing the same thing. They want name and status, like apex-university status, for example. Anugerah ini, anugerah itu. Buy fancy expensive cars, too much branded clothing; too show off, that kinda thing. Bottom-line, a lot of people do it ‘for show’ only.
So how do you know whether you are doing the ‘right’ things? Make sure you have sincerity and transparency when you make that decision. How do you know you are sincere? Only you yourself can answer that. If you are not transparent and honest with the decision you make, that means you have a conflict of interest. You don’t want to tell the whole story because you want things to go your way. This is wrong. If you’re a club president, the choices you make must benefit your club not just you. If the decision is personal, you must do it sincerely and do not expect anything in return.
How many times we have seen people making wrong or even worse corrupt choices. These are the people who let emotion and unjust expectations cloud they’re judgment. Emotions are not easy to control; though they are what make us humans. There are many grey areas of discussions in the world, but as long we have sincerity and honesty in our choices, then we don’t need to worry because that time, it will be a choice between two good things and just a matter of choosing the better alternative. All is well.