Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Need To Be Special

Have youever experienced the following or seen it happening around you:

• Constantly trying to get approval from your friends and peers
• Being so proud of yourself having a big post in a club
• Being so stubborn not to admit something where you are really wrong

All of these are symptoms of you trying to achieve something in life. It’s not bad on its own but it is if we do it for the wrong reasons.
We all desire love, a sense of belonging and affection from others. We all desire to be desired. But sometimes, we are heartbroken, betrayed and neglected by the people we love for many reasons. We have sacrificed so much but it still happen. We all, more or less faced with this and the experience is not pleasant. How can we be happy if we can easily be hurt? I give you a solution. A friend of mine said a relationship should be where both parties should learn and benefit from each other. He was talking about love, but I think it can be applied to any kind of relationship. So, if you are not learning, enjoying and appreciate with the people you love, maybe that relationship is not really working for you. Strive for the kinds of friends where all parties grow and learn together, I’m sure they’re hard to find, but I think they’re worth it. You won’t find them, if you think your friends should be like angels, like in my previous post, no one’s perfect but go for it anyway.

We all want Status, Power, and Recognition. We want to get Anugerah Diraja, we want to be President of a club and we want to be praised by our peers. We all want to be special. Unfortunately, most of the time, people will get too obsessed with chasing power and status. We become arrogant, ignorant, power hungry and blind to the needs of others. Power corrupts. There are so many cases where leaders become corrupted with power. See the story of Maximilien Robespierre and his history in the French revolution. Also don’t forget what happened to the Vatican, which caused the creation of the Protestant church. No offense for the religious reference, but understand this. We are flawed, not the religion, not the political concepts, it us humans.

Also, when you put so much effort on something, when you do reach the top what would you do? You feel empty. This happens to some of the really rich people, chasing so much money only to wonder what they will use the money for. So what is our salvation?

Observe the top most section of the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Self-actualization: Personal Growth and Fulfillment. That is the answer. We just need to focus our time and efforts in developing ourselves. Don’t care about having no friends. I’m sure you will find great people as your friends, on your journey on self-improvement. You don’t need to care about recognition, getting ‘apex university’ title or a ‘datukship’, just focus on growing. Anyway, I’m sure you get titles and recognition along the way. Heck, just look at Shah Rukh Khan, he got a title from a country that I wonder have he ever heard of. We must be passionate in developing ourselves. This is the noblest cause. This is what I mean as ‘Doing Things for right reasons’ not money, not status, not shallow friends but the lifelong pursuit of knowledge and wisdom.

So, I know what it takes to be special, what do you need to be special?

PS: The pictures are for aesthetic purposes only, no negative association intended

1 comment:

  1. Great Post!

    Based on what you have writen though, it would appear that many people have many different definitions for what is special. For example, one of your first points about getting approval, personally I wouldn't consider that as special because to me, being special is being something completely different, and the more jaws you drop the more "special" you are.

    But of course I realise now that to other people, special could also mean adoration and acceptance. It's strange though isn't it?

    Personally I would say that being special to me, is about not being "just" another person. In that sense not "just" another boy or "just" another kid, or something of the sort...maybe it comes from a deep psychological fear of not being remembered or something else. Who knows?

    At the same time though, it is quite difficult to remind myself that being special is not about acting in a certain way as much as it is being yourself.

    The other thing that's strange is how we so often forget that we do not really have to TRY to be special. After all, isn't every human being at least slightly different from the other? But then of course, as my Playwrite once said:

    It is not the difference in our core that counts these days, but the facade we put on show for the world. And the truth is, there is very little difference or "specialness" amongst the said facades.

    Peace Out



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